The Most Important Decision I ever Made
From as early as I can remember I always wanted to be SOMEBODY, someone people noticed and appreciated. From the childish appeals of “Hey, Daddy, watch me!” to not wanting to be chosen last when teams were organized on the playground, I always had this compulsion to be approved and accepted. Later in school I wanted to win the class office, earn the high grades and excel in athletics, driving myself to achieve those levels. Funny thing! I won the offices, made the grades and led the school team, but that did not satisfy me as I had hoped. Something was missing! What could calm the storm of dissatisfaction and confusion I felt? When would I feel “accepted”? One Summer night in July, 1953, I met a Man who loved me and that solved everything. He helped me to see that I WAS SOMEBODY, not because of what I did, but because of who made me and how he valued me. To quit struggling with my own efforts and to relax in that confidence is what Paul Tillich called “the courage to Accept Acceptance.” I chose to follow that Man for the rest of my life and beyond, and “that has made all the difference.”
And you know what? It works for me like in Blaise Paschal’s wager. The Psalmist summed it up, “For He satisfies the longing heart and fills the hungry soul with all good things.” A young Augustine confessed, “O God , our hearts are restless until we rest in You.” His personal relationship with us fills what John Donne called the “God-shaped blank in our hearts.” Make sense? It does to me. D.